Mohel Humour

As is the case of most human endeavours, humour is a way of dealing with activities and actions that make us uncomfortable.
We present a number of items here that are intended to give a humourous look at the act of circumcision. In his own way, the job of Mohel is a unique activity.

Mohel Jokes

NEW!
A great video presentation! http://one.revver.com/watch/104236

Dr. Carver
Submitted by the webmaster
The old Mohel, Dr. Carver still did circumcisions. One afternoon he was called to the Goldberg house. The baby and guests were waiting anxiously.

The mohel came out of the room a minute after he'd gone in and asked Mr. Goldberg,
''Do you have a hammer?''

A puzzled Mr. Goldberg went to the garage, and returned with a hammer. Dr. Carver thanked him and went back into the bedroom. A moment later, he came out and asked,
''Do you have a chisel?''

Mr. Goldberg complied with the request.

In the next ten minutes, Dr. Carver asked for and received a pair of pliers a screwdriver and a hacksaw. The last request got to Mr. Goldberg. He asked,
''What are you doing to my son?''

''Not a thing,'' replied old doc Carver. ''I can't get my instrument bag open.''

Signs
Submitted by guild506
A man is walking down the street in New York City when he comes across a shop with clocks and watches hanging in the front window.
''Good!'' he thinks to himself. ''I can get my watch fixed.''
He walks into into the shop and says to the man behind the counter, ''My watch stopped a couple days ago. I'd like you to fix it.''
The shopkeeper replies incredulously, ''I don't repair watches, I'm a mohel!''
''Then why do you have all those watches and clocks hanging in your window?''
The mohel replies, ''What would you suggest I hang there?''

HEYJEW~1.EXE A very cute FLASH file, with apologies to Paul, George, Ringo and John (zl). Sorry, but this file will only work on Windows computers! Click to download and run!

Kids
Martin was in Children's Hospital awaiting an operation. He was sharing a room with another boy who was also waiting for an operation. The boy turned to Martin and said, "What operation are you having?"
Martin responded, "I'm here to have my tonsils removed."
"That's a great operation. I had mine out a year ago. They let you play computer games. They give you all the ginger ale and ice cream you want. They treat you like a King."
Martin looked at his companion and asked, "What operation are you having?" The boy looked at Martin and said, "I'm here for a circumcision."
Martin paused for a moment and then said, "Gosh, that's too bad. That's a terrible operation. I was circumcised the first week I was born and I didn't walk for a year!"
  - contributed by David Diamond

The Samurai
Back in the time of the Samurai there was a powerful emperor who needed a new head Samurai so he sent out a declaration throughout the country that he was searching for one.
A year passed and only 3 people showed up: a Japanese Samurai, a Chinese Samurai and a Jewish Samurai.
The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head Samurai.
The Japanese Samurai opened a match box and out pops a little fly. Whoosh goes his sword and the fly drops dead on the ground in 2 pieces.
The emperor exclaimed: "That is very impressive!"
The emperor then asked the Chinese Samurai to come in and demonstrate.
The Chinese Samurai also opened a match box and out pops a fly. Whoosh whoosh goes his sword. The fly drops dead on the ground in 4 The emperor exclaimed: "That is really very impressive!"
The emperor then had the Jewish Samurai demonstrate why he should be the head Samurai.
The Jewish Samurai also opened a match box and out pops a fly. His flashing sword goes whoooooooossshhh whoooooooossshhh whoooooooossshhh hoooooooossshhh whoooooooossshhh. A gust of wind fills the room, but the fly is still
alive and buzzing around. The emperor, obviously disappointed, asks: "After all of that, why is the fly not dead?"
The Jewish Samurai smiled, "If you look closely, you'll see that the fly has been circumcised"!

Question & Answer
Q:	What did the stockbroker say to the Mohel?
A:	Thanks for the tip. Submitted by Jonathan Baker, Chum Group Radio jon.baker@chumottawa.com
Q:	Where do Australian mohels hold their annual convention?
A:	In the eucalyptus (you-clipped-us) groves, in Brisbane. (joke received in collaboration with Lawrence Schulman)
Q:	Hear about the enterprising rabbi that's offering circumcision via the Internet?
A:	The service is called E-MOIL.
Q:	What does a mohel say before performing the surgical cut?
A:	It won't be long now. submitted by: Gil Kezwer
Q:	If a doctor carries a black bag and a plumber carries a tool box, what does a mohel carry?
A:	A Bris-kit.
Q:	What is the technical term for an uncircumcised Jew who is more than 8 days old?
A:	A girl
Q:	Why didn't the waiter like the mohel?
A:	He never left a tip.

This plaque was produced in Canada in the 1970's.
Your contributions are welcome, and by inclusion, will receive the official recognition that all Mohel jokes deserve!

Dr. Aaron Jesin
The Jesin Circumcision Clinic
Mohel & Family Physician
Ritual Orthodox & Non Ritual Circumcision
4256 Bathurst St. Suite 203
Toronto, Ont. M3H 5Y8
Telephone: (416) 635-5012
e-mail: aaron@drjesin.com