We present a number of items here that are intended to give a humourous look at the act of circumcision. In his own way, the job of Mohel is a unique activity.
Mohel Jokes
 | HEYJEW.EXE A very cute FLASH file, with apologies to Paul, George, Ringo and John (zl). Sorry, but this file will only work on Windows computers and Intel Macs with an emulator (Parallels, Corssover, Fusion or Wine). Click to download and run! |
Kids
Martin was in Children's Hospital awaiting an operation. He was sharing a room with another boy who was also waiting for an operation. The boy turned to Martin and said, "What operation are you having?"
Martin responded, "I'm here to have my tonsils removed."
"That's a great operation. I had mine out a year ago. They let you play computer games. They give you all the ginger ale and ice cream you want. They treat you like a King."
Martin looked at his companion and asked, "What operation are you having?"
The boy looked at Martin and said, "I'm here for a circumcision."
Martin paused for a moment and then said, "Gosh, that's too bad. That's a terrible operation. I was circumcised the first week I was born and I didn't walk for a year!"
- contributed by David Diamond
The Samurai
Back in the time of the Samurai there was a powerful emperor who needed
a new head Samurai so he sent out a declaration throughout the country
that he was searching for one.
A year passed and only 3 people showed up: a Japanese Samurai, a Chinese
Samurai and a Jewish Samurai.
The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he
should be head Samurai.
The Japanese Samurai opened a match box and out pops a little fly. Whoosh
goes his sword and the fly drops dead on the ground in 2 pieces.
The emperor exclaimed: "That is very impressive!"
The emperor then asked the Chinese Samurai to come in and demonstrate.
The Chinese Samurai also opened a match box and out pops a fly. Whoosh
whoosh goes his sword. The fly drops dead on the ground in 4 The emperor
exclaimed: "That is really very impressive!"
The emperor then had the Jewish Samurai demonstrate why he should be the
head Samurai.
The Jewish Samurai also opened a match box and out pops a fly. His flashing sword goes whoooooooossshhh
whoooooooossshhh whoooooooossshhh hoooooooossshhh whoooooooossshhh. A gust of wind fills the room, but the fly is still
alive and buzzing around. The emperor, obviously disappointed, asks: "After all of that, why is the fly not dead?"
The Jewish Samurai smiled, "If you look closely, you'll see that the fly has been circumcised"!
| Questions & Answers | |
| Q: | Where do Australian mohels hold their annual convention? |
| A: | In the eucalyptus (you-clipped-us) groves, in Brisbane. (joke received in collaboration with Lawrence Schulman) |
| Q: | Hear about the enterprising rabbi that's offering circumcision via the Internet? |
| A: | The service is called E-MOIL. |
| Q: | What does a mohel say before performing the surgical cut? |
| A: | It won't be long now. |
| submitted by: Gil Kezwer | |
| Q: | If a doctor carries a black bag and a plumber carries a tool box, what does a mohel carry? |
| A: | A Bris-kit. |
| Q: | What is the technical term for an uncircumcised Jew who is more than 8 days old? |
| A: | A girl |
| Q: | Why didn't the waiter like the mohel? |
| A: | He never left a tip. |
This plaque was produced in Canada in the 1970's.Your contributions are welcome, and by inclusion, will receive the official recognition that all Mohel jokes deserve!
Dr. Aaron Jesin
The Jesin Circumcision Clinic
Mohel & Family Physician
Ritual Orthodox & Non Ritual Circumcision
4256 Bathurst St. Suite 203
Toronto, Ont. M3H 5Y8
Telephone: (416) 635-5012
e-mail: aaron@drjesin.com